We are at a bouncy house inddor playground. All other kids here today are same age or younger than Oliver. Oliver plays a little more balls out than the rest of his age group apparently. A lot of scared faces on the other kids. It's hard to be a bull in a china shop at a kids park but that's exactly what O is being today. One kid flinches every time O gets near him. I think it's from O laughing at the top of his lungs along with O's 'side show Bob' hair do. If you are the craziest two year old in the room does that make one 'king of crazies?'

I live at Costco you guys live in your house.

Oliver has found a little playhouse at Costco that he loves. He wants to go to the store just to play in his house. He also uses it as a restroom... every time. Thank god he's still in diapers. Yesterday he got confused and thought his house was at Target, that made for an interesting trip to Target.

Today I told him we were going to Costco and he could play in his house. He got very excited and started telling me how he lives at Costco and that was his house. I told him he might have to share if other kids were there.

'But, why I share my house, I live there. You and Mommy no share your house.'
   'I'm just saying you might have o share.'
'I no share my house.' he mumbled.

We get into the store and he starts leading the way to his house. I stop to look at some plants and he's dancing in the aisle, 'lets go to my house..' He is excited or he might have to poop. I get confused on where the house is and get scolded and corrected by a two year old. And, he was right, he knew where it was as to say that is where it used to be. They moved his house.

'Where my house go?'
   'I don't know buddy.'
'Oh, there it is, you come help me?'

They moved 'his' house on a shelf with the rest of the kids play things. So he immediately begins climbing the shelves and wants me to give him a boost. When no boost was given things got interesting again. That boy can make tears so fast and then turn them off even faster.

He cried and cried. I hugged him and sympathised with him. 'I just need to snuggle awhile.' So I hugged him in the cart at the foot of 'his' house for about ten minutes. Strangers walking past thought something was actually wrong. Then he saw a five foot puppy dog that he needed to snuggle with. (Why Costco carries five foot stuffed puppy dogs is the real story that needs telling.) After a lot more crying and asking his daddy why his house was taken away, with no good response form daddy, he looks at me, tears all gone and says, 'I go eat now.' Free samples, he LOVES the free samples more than Asians do. I'm not being rude or racist with that last comment just stating a fact, there are hundreds of Asians at this Costco and you almost have to throw elbows to get to a snack tray before they eat them all.

After about four rounds of free snacks O was feeling a little better. So we drive home and are about half a mile from from our house when Oliver starts telling me our house is gone. I was a little un-nerved by this because he is about 75% accurate with his of the cuff predictions. And he can speak dog or he thinks he can read their minds and seems to get it right most of the time. )Really weird things this kid has going for him but another story for a different time.)

 'My house gone, your house gone too.'
   'Where is our house?'
'It just gone, you can't get to it, it just gone, somebody take, you no live there anymore.'
   'I'm sorry they moved your house buddy, you can live with us, in our house.'
'OK, but it gone.'

Thankfully our house wasn't gone, his ESP on base percentage takes hit with that one. But at least we could get home and he could take a nap and dream about his old house.

Note from the Editor...

As Brek's Editor I tell Brek, after he has made a post, that his post was a good post but that it needs some editing. That's about as far as I make it. So... how about them Red Sox?

The potty, the snake and the toddler. (a.k.a. Will Mommy ever get to potty in peace?)

We were relaxing in the living room last night when Alissa had to use the rest room. She went to the half bath downstairs with the sliding door. Oliver LOVES to hang out with his mommy when she uses that rest room. In fact Alissa has commented on how she has been able to use the rest room twice with out Oliver interrupting her since he's been able to walk.

So, when he bolted out of the room soon after Alissa left I assumed it was to follow Alissa into the rest room. But then I could hear him digging thru his toy drawers in the dining room. He then comes back into the living room with his hands held behind his back and sweetly asked, 'Daddy, where is my snake?'

He was looking for his rubber snake. Pretty random I thought but then again so is everything about a two year old. 'I think it's in your wagon buddy.' 'In my wagon, OK, thank you.' Then he bolts into the yellow room where his wagon is. I hear more digging thru toys and then a triumphant, 'a ha!' Then I see a flash of toddler flying past the living room door headed towards the restroom with his rubber snake held above his head.

Next I hear a toddler pretending to hiss like a snake followed by a scream from the bathroom then a little giggle. He was sticking the snake under the door to scare his mom while she used the potty.

That little guy is always thinking and planning his next move. And he's never short on having a good time. even at the expense of his pregnant mommy. Someday his mommy might get to potty in peace but today is not that day.

Oliver takes on NYC

For the second time in less than a month we received a last minute invite for a week-end trip that we just couldn't refuse. The first invite was to stay at our friend's family's condo compound at Sunday River, ME. So, free condo to stay and a free Gold pass for the mountain so free skiing. It was a great week-end with great warm skiing conditions.

This past Wednesday we get an email from our friend who was going to NYC with his daughter for the week-end. His wife had to bail out on the week-end so he was looking for someone who also had a child to come along. He had a free two bedroom apartment right off Times Square with free parking, indoor pool and children's playroom. We are talking about a $500 to $600 per night suite in NYC if you were to pay for these accommodations.

It had been several years since either Alissa or I had been to NYC and Oliver had never been. We had stuff we needed to get done this week-end but this was an offer we just couldn't refuse.

Oliver started getting excited about our adventure Thursday night and all day Friday all he did was talking about 'New York City', 'I go New York City now?' 'Where we going? I want to go New York City now.'

So, we met at our friends house around 500pm Friday evening, ate dinner put Lira and Oliver in their pj's then we left Boston for NYC. The drive took awhile, one kid would cry, then the other one, and it seemed that whichever child was crying had the parent that was driving so there was much pulling over and switching drivers to accommodate crying kids. But, after 4.5 hours or so we get into Manhattan find our building and park.

The lobby of this place was nicer than any hotel I had ever been to. We were on the 18th floor which was nice because Oliver's favorite thing in the world is riding elevators and pushing buttons. We get to the apartment and settle in, it was about 11 or so and Oliver was wired. He gets so excited about new places and NYC was unlike any place he had ever been. He had his suite case trying to unlock the door and go outside, telling me he ride on elevator and go outside now. It was about midnight at this point. After convincing him to stay inside and then watching him trying to touch everything in the new apartment twice we were finally able to get him to bed.

Up and early the next morning we ate doughnuts and bagels then headed to the Natural Science Museum. We walked a few blocks to the subway  and Oliver was in heaven, huge grin and head on a swivel. Riding in the subway Oliver was wearing a grin the whole time. He had everyone around him smiling too. He has a way with people.

At the museum we saw lots of dinosaur bones, it was really impressive but it there were lots of dinosaurs. Oliver kept trying to ride the dinosaurs, apparently thinking it was a huge playground. So, he got tired of the museum a little before everyone else.

Then we got lunch at the Shake Shack. We got there around 11 which was perfect because we got our food and a place to sit right before everyone else in New York decided they too wanted to eat here. Anyways, burgers and milk shakes hit the spot.

Central park was a great place to wear out the little ones. They ran up and down the paths laughing and playing the whole time. Back on the train headed to Times Square. Oliver was on my shoulders where he rode most of the week-end. We got into a huge crowd in the middle of all the neon lights and huge signs in the heart of Times Square. I couldn't see him but Alissa said his mouth was wide open and his eyes were big.

We hit up the Toys r Us that had an indoor Ferris wheel and a billion toys. Our friend and his daughter headed back to the apartment early and we took our time walking around Times Square. Oliver was on my shoulders and we were posing for a picture in front of the big Times Square signs for Alissa when a younger lady stopped and asked me if she could take our picture too. 'You two are both so cute, do you mind if I take your picture too?' How can you say no to that? 'Alissa could you slide over a little? This nice lady is trying to take our picture.' We had to stop to let Alissa use the rest room on the way back to the apartment so Oliver and I stood outside. Oliver, still on my shoulders, started yelling, 'I want to go to New York City!','Buddy, we are in New York City.', 'No! I want to go back to New York City!', Do you mean you want to back to all the big lights and crowds of people?','Yes, I want to go back to New York City!!!'

Alissa and I thought Oliver would get a kick out of NYC, but he LOVED New York. He loved the people the sights, the sounds, the lights, everything. And he made friends everywhere. We went out to eat in Hell's Kitchen that night at a little Italian place. He met the owner and had the owner stopping to talk to him all night. Then we walked back thru Times Square so Oliver could enjoy the lights again. He was on my shoulders and a group of young ladies stopped us to us that he and I had the prettiest blue eyes they had ever seen. I could see them talking about Oliver from about a block away, in Times Square, the only place brighter than there might be the sun, and these girls are talking about how pretty Oliver is.

We were back on the subway the next day and Oliver made friends with an Italian couple, an Asian lady and an older wealthier white couple all at the same time. He had them commenting on how clear he spoke and how big his vocabulary was, and of course how pretty he was. He was holding court, telling them all jokes and telling them about the park and New York City. He had the whole train car telling him 'bye' as he was leaving. He was saying 'bye, bye' to everyone and he had them all smiling.

After another long car ride back to Boston this afternoon Oliver starts crying about five minutes from our house. I ask Alissa what was going on and she tells me that Oliver just realized we weren't going back to 'our apartment in New York City'. 'I want to go back to New York City!!!' I think he liked it, now we have to plan another trip, soon, with much more expensive much poorer accommodations.

Lunch time conversation with a two year old..

'Oliver what are you doing?'

   'I drinking the ketchup.'

'Don't drink the ketchup, dip you onion rings in the ketchup.'

   'I drink the ketchup.'

'No, DON'T drink the ketchup, use it as a dip not a beverage.'

   'I drink the ketchup.'

'I have to go fill my drink up, I'll be gone for five seconds, eat your food and DO NOT drink the ketchup.'

   'OK daddy.'

I walk away, fill up my drink and come back to a red mustached toddler.

   'I drink the ketchup daddy, it was goood.'

Corn Mazes oh how I hate you...(I don't really hate corn mazes, this one just irritated me a little.)

Let me count the ways...

1) I hate how you are made of corn, a product that grows kind of like a wall but it's planted in rows so it's like a wall with holes in it. And if a couple of stalks are knocked down or have not grown in properly then it looks like a pathway.

2) I hate how (at this particular corn maze) you have numbered check points with clues but many of your numbers have been knocked off so we have no idea what clue to use so you are pointless.

3) I hate that the only people you can ask for guidance on finding your way out are the people that have already found there way out so you are walking around with a bunch of other people that are just as clueless as you are about where you are and what direction you should be turning next.

4)  I hate that every time I turned around Oliver had disappeared into another corn row.  (Toddlers must REALLY hate corn mazes because every row looks like a new path). After thirty minutes Oliver was wandering around clutching his water bottle, red faced, like he had been lost in a desert for days.

5)  I hate the 'know it all' little girl running around telling me that, 'You shouldn't cut thru the rows, you are supposed to stay on the path, otherwise you are cheating.' But I like her mom who tells me, 'I won't tell anyone, get out anyway you can.' Poor lady and her little know-it-all is probably still lost in there.

6) I hate (and Alissa backs me up on this one) how there is no beer served in a corn maze. If you want me wandering around for hours you better offer me refreshments and they better have alcohol in them.

7) I hate that somehow (see #5 as to how this probably happened) we went in Corn maze #1 and when we finally made our way out we exited corn maze #2. Why put two corn mazes only a few feet away from each other? (see reason #1 regarding 'Why I hate corn mazes.')

8) I hate the people that we passed five times in the corn maze going the wrong way each time, complaining the whole time on how they were lost,  finally make it out of the maze only to say, 'Do you want to try the next maze?' Then they go in the next maze. I guess they wanted to get their money's worth. Or they brought their own beer.


It was an event, it was fine. But I don't think I'm running out to do it again next week-end. I think a corn maze would be a lot more fun if it was a corn path, with refreshments.