'Oliver what are you doing?'
'I drinking the ketchup.'
'Don't drink the ketchup, dip you onion rings in the ketchup.'
'I drink the ketchup.'
'No, DON'T drink the ketchup, use it as a dip not a beverage.'
'I drink the ketchup.'
'I have to go fill my drink up, I'll be gone for five seconds, eat your food and DO NOT drink the ketchup.'
'OK daddy.'
I walk away, fill up my drink and come back to a red mustached toddler.
'I drink the ketchup daddy, it was goood.'
Friday, October 19, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Corn Mazes oh how I hate you...(I don't really hate corn mazes, this one just irritated me a little.)
Let me count the ways...
1) I hate how you are made of corn, a product that grows kind of like a wall but it's planted in rows so it's like a wall with holes in it. And if a couple of stalks are knocked down or have not grown in properly then it looks like a pathway.
2) I hate how (at this particular corn maze) you have numbered check points with clues but many of your numbers have been knocked off so we have no idea what clue to use so you are pointless.
3) I hate that the only people you can ask for guidance on finding your way out are the people that have already found there way out so you are walking around with a bunch of other people that are just as clueless as you are about where you are and what direction you should be turning next.
4) I hate that every time I turned around Oliver had disappeared into another corn row. (Toddlers must REALLY hate corn mazes because every row looks like a new path). After thirty minutes Oliver was wandering around clutching his water bottle, red faced, like he had been lost in a desert for days.
5) I hate the 'know it all' little girl running around telling me that, 'You shouldn't cut thru the rows, you are supposed to stay on the path, otherwise you are cheating.' But I like her mom who tells me, 'I won't tell anyone, get out anyway you can.' Poor lady and her little know-it-all is probably still lost in there.
6) I hate (and Alissa backs me up on this one) how there is no beer served in a corn maze. If you want me wandering around for hours you better offer me refreshments and they better have alcohol in them.
7) I hate that somehow (see #5 as to how this probably happened) we went in Corn maze #1 and when we finally made our way out we exited corn maze #2. Why put two corn mazes only a few feet away from each other? (see reason #1 regarding 'Why I hate corn mazes.')
8) I hate the people that we passed five times in the corn maze going the wrong way each time, complaining the whole time on how they were lost, finally make it out of the maze only to say, 'Do you want to try the next maze?' Then they go in the next maze. I guess they wanted to get their money's worth. Or they brought their own beer.
It was an event, it was fine. But I don't think I'm running out to do it again next week-end. I think a corn maze would be a lot more fun if it was a corn path, with refreshments.
1) I hate how you are made of corn, a product that grows kind of like a wall but it's planted in rows so it's like a wall with holes in it. And if a couple of stalks are knocked down or have not grown in properly then it looks like a pathway.
2) I hate how (at this particular corn maze) you have numbered check points with clues but many of your numbers have been knocked off so we have no idea what clue to use so you are pointless.
3) I hate that the only people you can ask for guidance on finding your way out are the people that have already found there way out so you are walking around with a bunch of other people that are just as clueless as you are about where you are and what direction you should be turning next.
4) I hate that every time I turned around Oliver had disappeared into another corn row. (Toddlers must REALLY hate corn mazes because every row looks like a new path). After thirty minutes Oliver was wandering around clutching his water bottle, red faced, like he had been lost in a desert for days.
6) I hate (and Alissa backs me up on this one) how there is no beer served in a corn maze. If you want me wandering around for hours you better offer me refreshments and they better have alcohol in them.
7) I hate that somehow (see #5 as to how this probably happened) we went in Corn maze #1 and when we finally made our way out we exited corn maze #2. Why put two corn mazes only a few feet away from each other? (see reason #1 regarding 'Why I hate corn mazes.')
8) I hate the people that we passed five times in the corn maze going the wrong way each time, complaining the whole time on how they were lost, finally make it out of the maze only to say, 'Do you want to try the next maze?' Then they go in the next maze. I guess they wanted to get their money's worth. Or they brought their own beer.
It was an event, it was fine. But I don't think I'm running out to do it again next week-end. I think a corn maze would be a lot more fun if it was a corn path, with refreshments.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
"Hot" crunch, crunch, crunch, 'Hot'
Oliver and I went to the local Y in downtown Melrose this morning to sign O up for gymnastics and swimming classes. And yes, the summer Olympics have ended recently. :)
The sign up was taking forever and O was not cooperating. He couldn't understand why he couldn't play with all the kids in the day care class that we have not paid for. Plus I wouldn't let him get in the pool, that wasn't open. And when a two year old doesn't get what he or she wants, everybody knows it.
When we left I think the Y was regretting us let us sign up for either class much less allowing O to get a child's membership.
Anyways, to my point, when we were in the car pulling into downtown Oliver starts yelling, 'food, eat, chips, salsa, outside!!!'
Downtown Melrose is where we occasionally go to eat Mexican food and drink margaritas on Mexico Lindo's back patio.
So, since he had such a traumatic experience in the YMCA I decided to have lunch at the Mexican restaurant O was yelling about.
We sit down, get our chips and salsa and O starts going to town on the chips. Within seconds O is saying, 'hot...' crunch, crunch crunch, 'hot.' He grabs his water, kills half of the cup and goes back at it. 'Hot' crunch, crunch, crunch, 'hot.'
Then I look and he has tears rolling down his face. But, he isn't slowing down. 'Hot' crunch, crunch, crunch, 'hot.' big drink of water, 'hot' crunch, crunch, crunch, 'hot.'
(Pic is not at restaurant and he is not eating chips, but it is cute, culinary based and w/n weeks of actual recorded event.)
The sign up was taking forever and O was not cooperating. He couldn't understand why he couldn't play with all the kids in the day care class that we have not paid for. Plus I wouldn't let him get in the pool, that wasn't open. And when a two year old doesn't get what he or she wants, everybody knows it.
When we left I think the Y was regretting us let us sign up for either class much less allowing O to get a child's membership.
Anyways, to my point, when we were in the car pulling into downtown Oliver starts yelling, 'food, eat, chips, salsa, outside!!!'
Downtown Melrose is where we occasionally go to eat Mexican food and drink margaritas on Mexico Lindo's back patio.
So, since he had such a traumatic experience in the YMCA I decided to have lunch at the Mexican restaurant O was yelling about.
We sit down, get our chips and salsa and O starts going to town on the chips. Within seconds O is saying, 'hot...' crunch, crunch crunch, 'hot.' He grabs his water, kills half of the cup and goes back at it. 'Hot' crunch, crunch, crunch, 'hot.'
Then I look and he has tears rolling down his face. But, he isn't slowing down. 'Hot' crunch, crunch, crunch, 'hot.' big drink of water, 'hot' crunch, crunch, crunch, 'hot.'(Pic is not at restaurant and he is not eating chips, but it is cute, culinary based and w/n weeks of actual recorded event.)
Thursday, July 5, 2012
The persuasive arguments begin, someone must have an attorney for a parent.
Tonight at dinner Oliver intentionally knocked his milk cup onto the floor. This is the number one action that gets him put in time out. But tonight he did it then immediately began swatting the air and then looks at me with is hands out to his sides as if to say, 'I don't know what just happened' and then says, 'bug?... bug?... bug.' There was no bug.
It was hilarious. He looked like Rodney Dangerfield in 'Caddyshack' when he is trying to make it look like he broke his arm to get out of the golf tournament.
Then he immediately starts trying to shove pieces of chicken nugget up his nose. Alissa asked him, What are you doing?' She then explains that, We don't do that here. He responds with, 'Poppa do it.'
'Really? You've seen poppa shove a chicken nugget up his nose?'
He just nods his head and says, 'Poppa.'
Oh, last night Alissa thought she saw Oliver shove a pea up his nose. Then he began complaining that his nose hurt. So, Alissa got the nose sucker and tried to retrieve the pea. No pea, just a small hand full of rice that came from a meal we had eaten... at some point the previous week.
It was hilarious. He looked like Rodney Dangerfield in 'Caddyshack' when he is trying to make it look like he broke his arm to get out of the golf tournament.
Then he immediately starts trying to shove pieces of chicken nugget up his nose. Alissa asked him, What are you doing?' She then explains that, We don't do that here. He responds with, 'Poppa do it.'
'Really? You've seen poppa shove a chicken nugget up his nose?'
He just nods his head and says, 'Poppa.'
Oh, last night Alissa thought she saw Oliver shove a pea up his nose. Then he began complaining that his nose hurt. So, Alissa got the nose sucker and tried to retrieve the pea. No pea, just a small hand full of rice that came from a meal we had eaten... at some point the previous week.
Friday, March 9, 2012
March 9th, 2012, I failed as a father or did I?
Ya... Oliver has stared getting his own taste in music. And, it's not identical to my own taste in music. (dum, dum, dummmm.)
As most of you know I am as laid back as they come. I can get along with almost anyone. Different religions, political views, whatever, it's cool. As long as you are cool with my opinion we have no problem.
Music is different and I have been trying to raise Oliver in my image. In the image of, what I listen to is good and we don't need to change the station unless I think we need to change the station.
I turned on the 'Black Keys' in the bathroom while I was getting Oliver ready today. He started clapping when I turned on the music and then stopped, looked at me with a sour look on his face and then started saying, 'no, no, no, no...' Oliver do you want to listen to something else? 'yes'. Then he goes to my ipod and starts pushing buttons trying to change the song. It felt like he was repeatedly hitting me below the belt.
This had happened with Alissa a few nights earlier but I thought nothing of it. Alissa doesn't have great of taste in music, unless I am around. Oliver's actions made sense and I was a little proud of him for standing up for himself. But now this new found independence had gone too far.
We finished getting ready in silence, both musically and verbally. I could barely look at him. Who was this little stranger I had been raising for the past 19 months? Depression started sinking in.
We got in the car and turned on Pandora to 'Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears.' It's a blues band along the same lines of James Brown. It's got a lot of horns and a fast beat. As we drove down the road I could see Oliver start to smile, then his head started bobbing to the beat. (BTW, he keeps a perfect beat at 19 months, no joke) Then he puts his little hand in the air and starts pointing his finger at me and moving it to the beat. (It's called the 'Pee-Paw dance', You may have heard of it. I taught it to him at a young age.)
He jammed to the whole song. Then some awful song came on the radio and he immediately got mad and started yelling, 'NO, NO, NO, NO!' Then he stared giving me the 'more' sign. 'Oliver, do you want more Black Joe Lewis?' 'Yes!'
The kid likes what he likes. And hey, to jam out to the blues at 19 months? And to be able to tell a good blues song from an awful blues song about fives seconds into the song?
Maybe I'm not a failure? Maybe, I have done too good of a job raising him to be independent and confident with his own decisions. Maybe, I am a victim of my own success. Or, maybe I didn't want to listen to the Black Keys at that point in time after all? Maybe Oliver is actually more in tuned to music than I am? Hmmm... let's not get too far ahead of ourselves.
But, I'll let him voice his opinion on the music we listen to for now on. But the first time he wants to listen to Barney or that annoying talking train, he's going to day care. (I have nothing wrong with day care or children going to day care, just a bad joke.)
As most of you know I am as laid back as they come. I can get along with almost anyone. Different religions, political views, whatever, it's cool. As long as you are cool with my opinion we have no problem.
Music is different and I have been trying to raise Oliver in my image. In the image of, what I listen to is good and we don't need to change the station unless I think we need to change the station.
I turned on the 'Black Keys' in the bathroom while I was getting Oliver ready today. He started clapping when I turned on the music and then stopped, looked at me with a sour look on his face and then started saying, 'no, no, no, no...' Oliver do you want to listen to something else? 'yes'. Then he goes to my ipod and starts pushing buttons trying to change the song. It felt like he was repeatedly hitting me below the belt.
This had happened with Alissa a few nights earlier but I thought nothing of it. Alissa doesn't have great of taste in music, unless I am around. Oliver's actions made sense and I was a little proud of him for standing up for himself. But now this new found independence had gone too far.
We finished getting ready in silence, both musically and verbally. I could barely look at him. Who was this little stranger I had been raising for the past 19 months? Depression started sinking in.
We got in the car and turned on Pandora to 'Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears.' It's a blues band along the same lines of James Brown. It's got a lot of horns and a fast beat. As we drove down the road I could see Oliver start to smile, then his head started bobbing to the beat. (BTW, he keeps a perfect beat at 19 months, no joke) Then he puts his little hand in the air and starts pointing his finger at me and moving it to the beat. (It's called the 'Pee-Paw dance', You may have heard of it. I taught it to him at a young age.)
He jammed to the whole song. Then some awful song came on the radio and he immediately got mad and started yelling, 'NO, NO, NO, NO!' Then he stared giving me the 'more' sign. 'Oliver, do you want more Black Joe Lewis?' 'Yes!'
The kid likes what he likes. And hey, to jam out to the blues at 19 months? And to be able to tell a good blues song from an awful blues song about fives seconds into the song?
Maybe I'm not a failure? Maybe, I have done too good of a job raising him to be independent and confident with his own decisions. Maybe, I am a victim of my own success. Or, maybe I didn't want to listen to the Black Keys at that point in time after all? Maybe Oliver is actually more in tuned to music than I am? Hmmm... let's not get too far ahead of ourselves.
But, I'll let him voice his opinion on the music we listen to for now on. But the first time he wants to listen to Barney or that annoying talking train, he's going to day care. (I have nothing wrong with day care or children going to day care, just a bad joke.)
Thursday, February 2, 2012
The things they say...
The purpose of this post is to have a reference for Oliver's first words, when and and what he has said to this point. This is by no means meant to brag on how smart my little boy, partly because I think his verbal skills have been a little behind to this point, and I am a true believer that ALL little are genius in their own way. The things they discover and do all on their own amazes me. And, anyone who thinks their child is superior to others is doing so out of extreme bias. That being said, Oliver is a little genius, he has focused on skills other than verbal skills to this point but man the things he can and the things he comes up with... wow. I'm a little scared and very excited about what he will do next.
On to the list of words and communications:
At 6 months Oliver gives the milk sign for the first time. He never stops giving this sign. If it means food in his belly he is a quick learner. Followed soon after by the 'food' sign. Then 'water'.
At 7 or 8 months Oliver says, dog and ball on the same day while giving me the dog sign with his hands. This gesture is not repeated for months...
Daddie around 10 months, momma a couple of months later.
A lot of time passed and then he said... (12-18 months)
Nonnie, Poppa and recently Pops. Now just waiting on Gram.
'Doggie' is Norman and all other dogs. I asked him to say 'Norman' and he dismisses me with 'doggie' and a look saying, 'no, that's doggie.'
'Babeesh' is his pacie. (14 months) 'Baby', 'Ideas' (can't figure that one out.) 'Dandi' for dandilions.
'Dadoo' is water and he uses this for drinking water, rain, sewer water, bath water, etc. ('Ish' for fish, 'ookie' for cookie (15 months)
'Guck' is milk, duck, stuck and truck. He or something is 'stuck' when he can't get to it, on top of it or he/it is actually stuck. Today at Costco he wanted to hold something heavy, I think it was a fire extenguisher I was buying, so I let him hold it (closely supervised) and he smiles real big and quietly says, 'guck...guck...guck.' Super cute. (16 months)
'Shit' is both tent and shut as in to 'shit' the gate. It took me awhile to figure those two out. And, Alissa was not happy until she realized he wasn't mimicking my poor language. (17 months)
'No' he woke up from a long nap and all he said was 'no' the rest of the day. But it was the cutest 'no' you have ever heard. Real high to low tone and a drawn out 'o'. (17 months)
'Why' soon followed 'no'. He wakes up from a nap and I'm not there fast enough and he just cries, 'why... why... why?' (17 moths)
After much work he says 'more, please' via sign language. And occasionally follows it with 'touchdown' do to my celebrations after the first few times he correctly gave the signs. (17 months)
He can ask for 'help'. By saying 'help', generally followed by 'guck.' (17 months)
He has said, 'yes' clearly and correctly for months but has started saying 'ya' instead. Ya, I wonder where he got that. (18 months)
First sentence: 'I want babeesh!' around 18 months.
First attempt at a persuasive argument: (it failed, get used to that with your mom)
Mom, 'What do you want to drink Oliver? Milk or water?'
Oliver, 'coffee.'
Mom, 'You can't have coffee, you can have water or milk.'
Oliver, 'Daddy coffee.'
Around 19 months.
At 19 months he is copying a lot of what we are saying and doing.
I was doing push-ups in front of the mirror and then had to go to the bath room. I came back and Oliver was doing his best push-up effort while looking in the mirror.
Oliver was eating and Norman was trying to eat food off of Oliver's tray. I picked up Oliver's empty plate and lightly popped Norman on the nose with it. Oliver got a big grin and grabbed the plate and popped Norman on the head, not so lightly.
Oliver was playing around with his Poppa while we were in TX. I called him a little nut. He laughed and said, 'a nut'.
Finally said 'Gram' while we were in TX.
Also while in TX started saying, 'I don't know.' While cutely shrugging his shoulders and lifting his hands to his side.
Still working on this one but wanted to post it so there was something to read.
On to the list of words and communications:
At 6 months Oliver gives the milk sign for the first time. He never stops giving this sign. If it means food in his belly he is a quick learner. Followed soon after by the 'food' sign. Then 'water'.
At 7 or 8 months Oliver says, dog and ball on the same day while giving me the dog sign with his hands. This gesture is not repeated for months...
Daddie around 10 months, momma a couple of months later.
A lot of time passed and then he said... (12-18 months)
Nonnie, Poppa and recently Pops. Now just waiting on Gram.
'Doggie' is Norman and all other dogs. I asked him to say 'Norman' and he dismisses me with 'doggie' and a look saying, 'no, that's doggie.'
'Babeesh' is his pacie. (14 months) 'Baby', 'Ideas' (can't figure that one out.) 'Dandi' for dandilions.
'Dadoo' is water and he uses this for drinking water, rain, sewer water, bath water, etc. ('Ish' for fish, 'ookie' for cookie (15 months)
'Guck' is milk, duck, stuck and truck. He or something is 'stuck' when he can't get to it, on top of it or he/it is actually stuck. Today at Costco he wanted to hold something heavy, I think it was a fire extenguisher I was buying, so I let him hold it (closely supervised) and he smiles real big and quietly says, 'guck...guck...guck.' Super cute. (16 months)
'Shit' is both tent and shut as in to 'shit' the gate. It took me awhile to figure those two out. And, Alissa was not happy until she realized he wasn't mimicking my poor language. (17 months)
'No' he woke up from a long nap and all he said was 'no' the rest of the day. But it was the cutest 'no' you have ever heard. Real high to low tone and a drawn out 'o'. (17 months)
'Why' soon followed 'no'. He wakes up from a nap and I'm not there fast enough and he just cries, 'why... why... why?' (17 moths)
After much work he says 'more, please' via sign language. And occasionally follows it with 'touchdown' do to my celebrations after the first few times he correctly gave the signs. (17 months)
He can ask for 'help'. By saying 'help', generally followed by 'guck.' (17 months)
He has said, 'yes' clearly and correctly for months but has started saying 'ya' instead. Ya, I wonder where he got that. (18 months)
First sentence: 'I want babeesh!' around 18 months.
First attempt at a persuasive argument: (it failed, get used to that with your mom)
Mom, 'What do you want to drink Oliver? Milk or water?'
Oliver, 'coffee.'
Mom, 'You can't have coffee, you can have water or milk.'
Oliver, 'Daddy coffee.'
Around 19 months.
At 19 months he is copying a lot of what we are saying and doing.
I was doing push-ups in front of the mirror and then had to go to the bath room. I came back and Oliver was doing his best push-up effort while looking in the mirror.
Oliver was eating and Norman was trying to eat food off of Oliver's tray. I picked up Oliver's empty plate and lightly popped Norman on the nose with it. Oliver got a big grin and grabbed the plate and popped Norman on the head, not so lightly.
Oliver was playing around with his Poppa while we were in TX. I called him a little nut. He laughed and said, 'a nut'.
Finally said 'Gram' while we were in TX.
Also while in TX started saying, 'I don't know.' While cutely shrugging his shoulders and lifting his hands to his side.
Still working on this one but wanted to post it so there was something to read.
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